ello

well this time i dun write ne poems....or stories. this time i face reality, this time i tell u watz going on w/ me.

recently ive been impatient and ill-tempered. ive even started swearing, and yeha i kno itz not that big of a deal, but still, shows how mad/frustrated i can be when usually im so carefree.....or careless.

i kno how they say when u dun work hard something always comes back to kick u in the ass. maybe that's just to scare u, or maybe itz true. i guess it's getting to me.

im stressed out. im rlly stressed out. this is like, the mother of stress.

why? not rlly sure. i think itz got a lot to do w/ the fact that lately ive realized how reality isnt so great, how i could grow up f-ed and end up having to constantly worry about money and how im gonna get food and how im gonna care for myself and the ppl i care about.

heh wat am i kidding, that's unrealistic.

not.

that's the thing, itz not unrealistic, itz real, it's so real all i gotta do is go downtown to see it.

*rubbs eyes* but maybe not so much for me, maybe cuz i got a good family life, ppl tat love me, i got support, i got an education, i got security.

im just afraid ill screw that gift up.

been distracted, lost train of thought.

o well, *sigh* i feel like im falling apart. so much, "wat if?" for the future. im sooo stressed, i want all my work to magically disapear. b4 i had another yr behind me, it was ok, now i gotta finish in order to not return to school next yr.
i guess i also rlly dun wanna go back.

*rubbs eyes* keane says, "just keep on working, just keep on working and it'll happen." man...........and then, cuz im so stressed out, i end up wasting my time.

BOO! pishhy poshy. that's exactly wat i always said, stress out - end up loosing in the end.

all the teachers, "if u dont stress out ull fail."

they forgot to mention that ill probably end up lunatic by the time that happens.

man im rlly not meant for this shit...gotta get my act together.

must be ~calm~

i feel like im loosing my friends, just my imagination tho i bet ~ how r u guys doing?

o wait...lol not many ppl read these ne more.

o well.

*sigh* just gotta relax.


i lied...no i didnt, just a change of plans.

like a river, like a sea
it all just falls, down on me
like a mountain strong and high
like a seagal in the sky
i'll be careless and free,
ill be stronger then the tallest tree
against the waves that crash down on me
in the deep deep river

i think the meaning should be evident. lol OOOo w00t, intellegent word!!!

-hoshi